Heart's War

In battle, there are opposing sides that are fighting for reasons that could be similar or totally opposite. But the point is that they are engaged in a fight. Most fights has one side versus the other side. One example is in sports, like Carolina Panthers versus New England Patriots or Los Angeles Lakers versus Charlotte Bobcats. Most examples are external and causes physical harm, but what about internal battles? Most battles that occur internally cause more long term damage than those that are external. One of the oldest wars that everyone will experience is internal and pumps blood all over the body, although blood is essential for living for both humans and vampires, so is the heart's other important function. The heart's other function is to love. The war does not begin when you love somebody or fall in love with somebody, the war begins when it is hard to distinguish luv from love.

Luv?

Besides being spelled funny, this word is powerful and inflicts alot of damage like it's counterpart. Luv, in my honest opinion is another way to say "like" or "lust". I used this word in my younger days when I could have been considered a hoe or player but this word is like the placebo of the actual drug. When someone says they "luv" you then they are unsure or confused or at war within their heart. Or a more real reason to use this word is to get what you want. And what you want may be money, cars, clothes, sex, or what ever tickles your g-spot. When a person says they "luv" you, be careful because they could be treating you like a HOE! No disrespect to anyone who has been fooled by the meaning of this word. I, myself have been fooled and found myself heartbroken and discouraged, but it happens to any and everyone once in their life. Once you experience this feeling, you feel high, anxious, and incredible until you realize that the experience you are feeling is just a momentary rush like caffeine or a 5hr energy shot. This feeling only lasts long enough to allow you to know it effected you in some way. Then you crash and feel neglected and used. Although confusion is a symptom that carries over also, you learn from this mistake, but "luv" comes in different forms, words, and actions. So prepare to be fooled once again until you cross enemy lines and join the other team.

Love?

This is the real deal if you actually feel it and mean it. Many people rank themselves and their relationship as being fueled by this one word. The funny thing about this emotion is that it is rare to come by. For example, I will admit that I have been in love 2 times in my life. The first time with someone who eventually let me down and disappointed me. The other, I am currently happy and really love her more and more as the days go by. This kinda emotion is considered "real" because it not only affects your heart, but other aspects of your well-being is directly affected by this emotion. If you truly are in Love, then you cannot go a moment without the person you share this emotion with. In other words, you cannot eat, sleep, function, or think right without this person by your side or within close contact. I am speaking from past and current experiences. Unlike its counterpart, this drug is highly addictive and not close to a placebo. To lose this emotion in its rawest form can result in malfunctioning. For example, when my first love left my life, i couldn't eat, sleep, play, or think about ever going through that roller coaster ride again. The one emotion that brings limitless happiness and a feeling of wholeness can leave you distraught, confused, and empty. The hardest part is forgetting and living again without that person, but once you achieve that, then you change and become a new person. Your perception of life is altered and you end up finding yourself in pursuit of someone totally different than what you had before. This side of the battlefield hosts many casualties but if you can endure and live to fight another day, then victory is not far from your grasps.

Luv versus Love

The body goes through so many battles daily that when luv or love is presented, then usually most of our guards are already down. When you luv somebody or something, it usually is followed by car, money, sex, a type of food, or what ever excites you physically. In other words, luv is based off a more physical longing or likeness. While love attaches itself with people, hearts, minds, friendships, and emotions. Love is mainly based off of a more internal longing for completeness. Both are emotions that causes a major conflict within the human body. Its a war between what you want or desire versus what you actually need. I used to be on the battlefield trying to figure out who or what I luved or loved and I concluded that I luv earthly objects such as shoes, my car, or my television, while I love rarer objects such as a companionship, friendship, and family. The battle between luv and love dictates lives and affects futures. Like I mentioned earlier, Luv is the placebo while Love is the actual drug and in many wars, the opposing side uses similar tactics which confuses alot of people. Next time you are in conflict within your heart, be sure you are fighting on the right side because you could end up fighting in Heart's War for the rest of your life all alone...

Reaction Retraction

My prior blog post titled, "Personification of 'Steve'" really showed me exactly why everyone, besides myself, needs to blog. Most people who have already caught up to the current year and have started blogging can be a witness to the effect blogging has on the psyche, heart, and soul. Blogging, in my opinion, is a way to vent and let out your frustration, inner feelings, news, or just to pass the time by. My prior blog that I mentioned earlier was a prime example of how blogging is a peaceful way to let loose and to let what cannot be said in the presence of others be written down. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to write whenever I have time to do it. But that's another totally different subject. Again, my blog post titled, "Personification of 'Steve'" was my best post but also considered my worst.

It was my best because I used what i love to do and mixed it with exactly what a blog is used for, which is to speak one's mind. That blog post was raw, uncut, uncensored, and just plain out real. I let my anger out into words, each single letter was my way of fighting. I threw fists with each completed sentence and topped it off with kicks and jabs with each period and double space. But like most fights, there are usually some casualties and in this instance, it was my reasons for writing. This leads to exactly why my prior blog was my worst.

My prior blog post was my worst because I turned something I loved into a mockery of someone. Although blogs can be a peaceful way to vent without getting too physical, some blog's content can be as effective as fighting which, in my opinion, is the same as throwing the first punch. Maybe I was too raw, too uncut, too uncensored or just plain out too real? Or maybe I was angry and the only way I could get my anger out was to write. What I wrote, I wrote out of anger and I could have been a bit rash. I am not apologizing in no way because these feelings came from somewhere and they somehow made it on paper. My prior blog was my best, yet my worst because I played the hero for those scared to speak their true feelings, but I hurt somebody out of revenge.

Honestly, I felt justified for my prior blog post but the more I read it, the more ashamed I became. Shame?! Yes, shame that I used what I loved doing to hurt people. The main reason I got into writing is kind of petty but admirable at the same time. Clark Kent(or Superman) was a reporter/hero who wrote articles and saved lives. I view myself as a protege to his philosophies except I do not have super strength, laser eyes, or faster than a speeding bullet. But what I do have is super strong morals, laser typing skills, and I am faster than a speeding bullet when someone is in need. This really is not a retraction but its my reaction to my actions that made me feel a little bit less Super. But a part of becoming Super is realizing that you aren't Super at all. In fact, becoming Super starts off when you realize that you are human and not mistake free.....Especially when you blog!