With only a few months before graduation, I sit back and reminisce about all my experiences in school. Ranging from 4k all the way to a Super Senior in college, I have done fairly well to this point. So well that I have started to think about the "what ifs". Do not misunderstand that prior sentence because I am highly confident in myself and the direction I am going. The only issue I am facing now is this one particular "what if" that seemed minor but only til now has become major.
Major in a way that I need a better grasp on this thought or I may never fully understand what motivates me...
I wonder everyday what direction my life would have taken if I underachieved or if I was considered "bad". In other words, what perception would the world have if I took a wrong turn somewhere early in life? I know I am the spokesman for the "fuck it" generation and not just caring about what people do or think about me, but I see so many people who messed up their lives early on in life and now are getting praised. This leaves me to think that the bad guys in life can do all the wrong in the world and do what not is expected and still somehow become the hero in the end.
If bad people has a chance at redemption, then what happens to the good guys when they mess up?...
Since the beginning when we are able to distinguish right from wrong, we were offered two paths to take. One path being the good guy and living life doing what is right and following the rules afraid of the consequences. The other path was a life of mischief, ignoring the rules, and accepting the consequences for misbehaving. The choice was simple from the beginning but depending on the path you took from that early moment in life, you may think that being good was the easiest path to take, but at this point in my life, maybe being the bad guy is not such a hard road to take.
A road not taken can be considered easier to those who have not began to walk that path...
Imagine messing up in school, cussing your parents out, or doing drugs then all of a sudden you get an epiphany that the path you chose is wrong, so you decide to alter your direction and begin following the standard of being a model citizen and doing good. The end result should be that you get a second chance in life and those who doubted you will somehow become your biggest fans. You will achieve role model status and eventually depending on how well your life ends up, you could become the standard that future generations follow.
Flip That Thought...
Imagine going to church, being active in the community, excelling in school, and being the person everyone expects to do great things then one day the road you chose somehow becomes tainted and causes you to throw it all away which result in your downfall. The end result should be that you may be out of time to get back to where you once were and those who boosted you up and expected great things are the ones who criticize and ridicule you. Eventually if you hit rock bottom and eventually get up, then you are already labeled as a nobody and will never amount to the standard you once built yourself to become.
These are the standards we have placed upon ourselves as members in a society that holds the good guy or hero to an extraordinary standard when compared to the bad guy or villain...
The standards we have placed upon ourselves and the rest of the world are considered unfair depending on the viewpoint you want to take. But I firmly believe that if you follow the standards from the beginning and do what is right, then you are taking the biggest risk to face failure because everyone has created the assumption that you will be great and have placed you on a pedestal that if you do anything less than what is expected then you are considered underachieving or possibly a nobody. On the hand, if you have underachieved from the beginning then people's standards are easier to meet. This thought makes me believe the villainous is the perfect setup from prosperity because all you have to do is stop doing wrong and you can be the hero.
Doing what is right felt like the right thing to do but now avoiding being considered below the standard is what motivates me...
I have done what is expected of me throughout my life but I know one day that I may stray towards an alternate route and become inferior to my expectations, but that's life. Hopefully anyone who read this post understands my thought process and also know that I am not displaying jealousy or envy. I am just giving a realist view on an idea no one probably even considered. In closing, something I heard a while ago stays with me til this day and I hope it really opens the minds of all those who read this post...
"The only difference between the good guy and the bad guy is one wrong decision..."
