To anyone who has missed me... I'm back! To those who spend alot of their time trying to diss or hate me then fuck you because I'm Back!
Now Continuing my Post...
Yes it has been a year since I've blogged but over that yearly span so much has changed not only for myself but for everyone around me. So I will be calling out a few people on this post some good things and bad things will be put on blast but I doubt anyone I piss off has the money to sue me for slander so let's get to it
If anyone who knows me that does not know already, I have moved locations since the last time I blogged. Yes, I left Gaffney SC and relocated to Charlotte NC for various reasons but the primary reasons were for work, more opportunities in life that Gaffney couldn't begin to offer me, and finally I needed & yearned for a new beginning. I was terribly conflicted about should I stay or should I go but after some careful thought and some great advice from some of my closest friends, I decided to leave Gaffney in the rear view & start over in a new city with new people. Its January now & I have been living in this great city for about 6months and I must admit I love it here in all aspects but the only thing I truly miss is my family & SOME of my friends. Although, a piece of me still belongs to Gaffney, I've left it in my rear view and I refuse to look or even go back unless its for those I care about.
This past year was a huge change for me but like the symbol yin & yang represent, with all the good in my life there was some bad. The summer of 2011 was great, I had a new job, making some crazy money, and had no type of worries to contend with. Everything seem to be going in the right direction for not only myself but for my friends until something changed. When I say something changed, I mean my usefulness changed. If anyone doesn't know what I'm trying to hint at then I will sum it up simply as this, I lost 2 of my best friends over some stupid dumb ass immature bullshit. Let me elaborate further, one of my ex best friends stopped talking to me over a girl we both messed around with. Like I mentioned earlier with every good there's a bad, in this instance it circled around and the bad eventually turn into a good. Me and my homeboy are cool again after talking things through and realizing we both were at fault and we both learned from it and got over it like normal men do.
I did say I lost 2 best friends in 2011? Okay, my other ex-best friend was like my brother from another mother. We were so much alike & we complimented each other so much that it felt kind of gay being around him at times but that's what friendship becomes when you get so close to a person that you form a relationship that's more that friendship but family. I honestly do not know where or what truly happened but I felt like usefulness expired which I think is totally fucked up but giving the situations when he turn feminine & stopped talking to me or acknowledging me. At first I was angry but let me clarify that during any point of the ending stages of friendship did I feel any type of empathy or sadness. I was just angry not only because he disowned me, but he disowned others for no reason at all. I'm at a point right now where my anger has evolved to mixture of nothingness & sorrow for him. I feel sorry for him because he has turned his attention and put everything into a single person which is not always good but in this instance, I don't wish no bad on him or the new useful person in his life. I actually wish him the best in everything he does now and so forth. With that being said, I've washed my hands and moving forward without any resentment or hatred towards anyone...back in Gaffney.
When I left Gaffney, I not only left my friends, family, and a few problems back there but I left the soap opera I like to call my love life. My main issues began in 2010 when I met a psycho chick I will nickname alias, "J". Psycho does not begin to describe how horrible she was and more than likely still is. Psycho-hoe-cock sucking-lying-conniving-nasty-bitch is a much better word. If that word was in a dictionary then it would have her face beside it or it will redirect you to her name. In the urban-dictionary they would reference her by her phone number and with that description it will point out if you want easy ass that's been passed more times than the dressing at Thanksgiving call this number.
Anyway commercial is over back to my fucked up soap opera I call my love life in 2011.
Anyway commercial is over back to my fucked up soap opera I call my love life in 2011.
Besides trying to shake J, I had plentiful endeavors between the times she cheated on me, disappeared to suck cock in the trailer park, or lying to all my friends about me. With these endeavors, I learned alot about myself and the women I banged out, tried to bang out, and/or got some brain in the backseat of my Prizm. Although the experiences I felt were primarily physical, the emotional side of me still belonged to J and to be honest I hated what i was starting to become.
Here is a taste of how bad I had become. I lied to everyone ranging from my family and friends to strangers who questioned who I dated. I did not leave J alone officially until August of 2011 right before I left for Charlotte. I lied to you all about me still being involved with her. I still fucked her even though she did so much to me but for some reason, the sex helped erase all the hurt and harm she did to me. For those 20-30mins, I was at ease until all my worry-free shot out of me like a cannon then I came back to reality & the realization, she was no good for me. I let her go and I went my separate way far away from her and her drama. I cannot firmly say she is the primary cause of my womanizing but she is the main reason why I trust no bitch except a select few. For that, I thank her because she helped me realize that love is not always a good thing but it can be crude, cold, and deceptive and if you love the wrong person then you will end up in more hurt and harm than any physical action towards you by anyone.
After being left hurt in many aspects by J, I relied solely on fucking and deceiving any female who believed my words and fell for my game. There was even a moment, No... longer than a moment, it was actually an entire day when I felt I needed to stop and correct my ways. I felt like everything I had been through was a result of how I treated other women from my past. Some call it Karma and so do I. That thought only lasted one day and I continued my splurge with no regrets and I kept relieving my inner conflicts with physical satisfactions.
From that moment I met another female that will be known as alias "T". T was cool at time but other times, she was emotionless and somewhat annoying. I soon found out that she had be subjected to heartbreak prior to meeting me in 2011. We both clashed in all aspects except physically. She was broken and so was I and I have come to learn that 2 broken people cannot be compatible no matter how much you work at trying to make it work because in the end, the missing pieces could not be replaced if the other person is also missing something. So me & her split thus making her my last relationship of 2011.
I ended 2011 without a relationship. Which was awesome because it gave me time to seek out who I really was and where I was heading.
Here is a taste of how bad I had become. I lied to everyone ranging from my family and friends to strangers who questioned who I dated. I did not leave J alone officially until August of 2011 right before I left for Charlotte. I lied to you all about me still being involved with her. I still fucked her even though she did so much to me but for some reason, the sex helped erase all the hurt and harm she did to me. For those 20-30mins, I was at ease until all my worry-free shot out of me like a cannon then I came back to reality & the realization, she was no good for me. I let her go and I went my separate way far away from her and her drama. I cannot firmly say she is the primary cause of my womanizing but she is the main reason why I trust no bitch except a select few. For that, I thank her because she helped me realize that love is not always a good thing but it can be crude, cold, and deceptive and if you love the wrong person then you will end up in more hurt and harm than any physical action towards you by anyone.
After being left hurt in many aspects by J, I relied solely on fucking and deceiving any female who believed my words and fell for my game. There was even a moment, No... longer than a moment, it was actually an entire day when I felt I needed to stop and correct my ways. I felt like everything I had been through was a result of how I treated other women from my past. Some call it Karma and so do I. That thought only lasted one day and I continued my splurge with no regrets and I kept relieving my inner conflicts with physical satisfactions.
From that moment I met another female that will be known as alias "T". T was cool at time but other times, she was emotionless and somewhat annoying. I soon found out that she had be subjected to heartbreak prior to meeting me in 2011. We both clashed in all aspects except physically. She was broken and so was I and I have come to learn that 2 broken people cannot be compatible no matter how much you work at trying to make it work because in the end, the missing pieces could not be replaced if the other person is also missing something. So me & her split thus making her my last relationship of 2011.
I ended 2011 without a relationship. Which was awesome because it gave me time to seek out who I really was and where I was heading.
Then some time passed, it was between Christmas & New Year where I realized something had to change, I have to change. I had to move away from womanizing and go in the opposite direction. I still have confidence, good looks, and the ability to bang the easy ones, but this I year decided to reminisce on that one day when I was at my emotional lowest & I thought I needed to slow down and find "the one" and hold on to that mindset.
The girl... no the WOMAN for me may be out there looking for me all I have to do is be willing, accepting and patient enough to wait on her to appear. Until then, I will continue to have fun and bang a few easy ones, but womanizing will reduce starting now in 2012. The number of women will reduce but not stop completely. I have matured and opened myself to more moral aspects but at the end I'm still a man and I have needs so I will take what comes to me but I will take quality over quantity this time around.
Hopefully if miracles can happen then maybe I can go out and make my own happen & find "the one" every hopeless romantic preaches about. That is why this year, 2012, I have decided to work on my patience primarily, continue to improve myself in all aspects, and assist those around me and help propel them to further greatness & continued awesomeness!
The girl... no the WOMAN for me may be out there looking for me all I have to do is be willing, accepting and patient enough to wait on her to appear. Until then, I will continue to have fun and bang a few easy ones, but womanizing will reduce starting now in 2012. The number of women will reduce but not stop completely. I have matured and opened myself to more moral aspects but at the end I'm still a man and I have needs so I will take what comes to me but I will take quality over quantity this time around.
Hopefully if miracles can happen then maybe I can go out and make my own happen & find "the one" every hopeless romantic preaches about. That is why this year, 2012, I have decided to work on my patience primarily, continue to improve myself in all aspects, and assist those around me and help propel them to further greatness & continued awesomeness!
All in all my life is pretty good. I'm not saying its perfect or I don't have any worries but I do believe all the choices I have made this year were all the right ones. I wouldn't go back and change them for the world. Not only has this past year been a period of good and bad for myself but my friends and family have experienced alot in the smooth but turbulent year we call 2011...
But you have to stay tuned to Part 2 where I will conclude this blog post! Until then... To be Continued!
