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Our society is built upon dreams, faith, and hope which are all unseen elements. We not only dream at nights, but we wake up every morning hoping to make our dreams a reality. How can we make our dreams magically appear from the labyrinth of our minds into reality? Many believe through faith and hope, dreams can become real.

My only question is, after you accomplish your dream, what other reason is there to continue?

In other words, if you are living for the moment, what do you do after that moment has come and passed. Imagine if you spend your whole life just to get that one moment to shine and you somehow succeed, what do you do next? Do you make more goals to try to accomplish or do you just give up and accept that you lived for that moment?

Too many questions without any answers...

Some questions cannot be answered until you have experienced that moment you were created for. A dream or that perfect moment seems easy enough to accomplish but today's society, in my opinion, sugar coats the perception of living the dream. Society makes our dreams seem like they are easy to obtain, but in reality obtaining a dream has less odds of happening than winning the jack pot for the lottery. Dreams, faith, and hope are just words with meanings.

But what are words with meanings without actions to associate with them?

You, including myself, currently have aspirations to make our dream("the moment") happen and we continue to believe(faith) and work(hope) towards our happiness. We are living our lives for a moment that fuels and motivates us to function and make decisions in order to advance a step closer to what we consider our ultimate goal. After the moment is lived, just like a great story, the climax passes. The climax passes then we have to look towards the resolution and the ending.

Life is often compared to a book but can you conclude the story of your life just to decide its not the ending you wanted...

After you have lived for the moment, how will it all end? This question is what scares me the most of all. After you have lived your dream or lived your moment the only viable option is death because we truly have no other reason to live. That is why we LIVE for the moment because after it has come and passed then your reason to live has come and passed also. My advice to everyone is to make sure your dreams are worth dying for. You only live one life, you have one moment.

Make sure its a memorable one because after your story has ended, you could be left looking at the back cover of either a New York Times bestseller or a fire starter.

No matter the outcome, Live for the moment. Live your Moment...

What Do I Want From Me?!

This is not a rip off of Adam Lambert's, "Whataya Want From Me" but the whole song did inspire my inner conflict. I listened to this song repeatedly for an hour and kept wondering why I loved it so much. I finally figured it out why this song stuck in my head, its because it reminds me of myself.

I may seem happy on the outside, but honestly... I am really in a state of confusion that I can cannot pull myself from this time...

I honestly believe no one can rescue me from myself. My friends, family, and others who generally care about cannot say or do anything to help me or ease this internal pain I am experiencing. The pain I am feeling has nothing to do with actual pain, instead, the pain I am feeling is emptiness. An emptiness that consists of regret and unhappiness with myself and my life. I am free falling and honestly, I do not know if I am going to hit rock bottom or continue to fall even further...

I am at war with myself...

Where did all this root from? I really do not know but I have been thinking about my life and where it has been and where it is going. For starters, my life has been on a never ending ride beginning in reality where everything was normal and real. I traveled from reality to paradise where I had love in my life, I felt fulfillment, and I felt important. All the way to an internal purgatory where I continue to burn myself with doubts and "what ifs".

From reality to happiness to my own internal hell, I experienced alot but still learned nothing...

My life thus far has been filled with experiences ranging from me losing loved ones or almost being a daddy all the way to the moments where I smile just at the thought of being alone. Through everything I have been through, I still learned nothing about myself or the direction I am going. I do not know what I want in life or where I want my life to head so I am continuing to walk this road alone just to see where it all will end. Will I make a difference in this world or will I live the kind of life wondering what could have been?

Maybe one day I will solve the paradoxical question... What Do I Want from Me?

The Known Unknown

Funny title huh? Makes you sit back and wonder what I was thinking. Instead of thinking about what I was thinking, use your math terms and add the negation to that statement...

Now sit back and wonder what I was not thinking...

This kind of thinking will allow you to understand exactly why this blog post will be nothing like those that preceded it. This time, I am going to blow your mind and fuck up your perception of me. Those who think they knew me before, then best believe you are just an inch further to truly understanding me than those who have not met me yet. And for that accomplishment, I congratulate you...

I gave you all an inch but nothing more...

Consider this post my warning for things to come. Everything you have known about me before will become unknown. I will become the known unknown in your lives...