24

24 is a number. 24 is the total number of hours in a single day. 24 is a date in a month, its in every month without fail. 24 used to be a title of a hit television series. 24 is a persons age or lifespan. 24 is much more than a number to me now. 24 represents a moment where I realized who sincerely cared about me and where I tested everyone in my life. And the bad news is, more than half of you failed! Failed not only my test but failed at being there for more than just a birthday, but a celebration of my life.

Most of the people in my life, I have been there for and busted my ass for each and everyone of you in more than one incident. And the good people in my life has returned the favor but I'm not keeping count or keeping a record of who's there for me or who's not there. But I am remembering all the excuses, lies, and let downs each and everyone has made me experience. If you have not figured it out yet, 24 represents my age which represents my life. 

Let me backtrack and explain why I am angry... No, I'm too old to be angry, why I'm disappointed. First, I spent time, effort, and money inviting people to share and experience my birthday. The number of people I invited ranged between 20-30 people total and not even half of that number showed up. I had maybe 5 or 6 people show up and celebrate my birthday. For all of those who took time out of their day to be here physically I am sincerely thankful and I appreciate your effort. Best believe I will return that same effort and time you put into me and my day! 

I understand some people live miles away and wasn't able to make it, you're excused and I understand. But I had some people say they were coming and the day of backed out on me which utterly pissed me off. If you're reading this and texting or calling me and not getting a response. That means you're dead to me, lose my number, fuck you! For those who said they didn't have money or time to come out or to say it was short notice, I call bullshit and lies. If a person has at least a months notice and still epically fails to show any type of support, you're dead to me!

To everyone else who really had a legitimate reason and/or sent me birthday wishes, Thank you I appreciate it. To those who made no effort to come out or wish me happy birthday, fuck you...you're dead to me!

Second reason I am utterly disappointed about the lack of support for my birthday is the symbolism of a person's birthday. A birthday is exactly what it suggests, its a day of birth for that particular person. In other words, its a celebration of a person's life. I feel like if you make excuses, lie, or not even attempt to show any type of support for my life then why the hell would you be at my funeral. Yes, my funeral, the celebration of my death. Why should I expect people who consider themselves my "friends" to be there when I die if they couldn't be there while I was living.

Final reason I am disappointed is because I have to re-evaluate friends & family. Meaning some people will be fired or let go. 24 also represents change in my life. So I have to make some personnel changes in the near future. 

To all those who texted, called, facebooked me, or shared my birthday I am thankful. To those who didn't do any of that I'm done with supporting you and being there for you. I refuse to be used anymore.

Sorry Carrie but I have to mention you here but I'm not cutting those who I have deep ties with over not being a "good" friend on my birthday. Instead, I am not putting forth as much effort towards you or your life anymore. Believe me, those who I am disappointed in will notice my lack of presence before too long. Also there's really no making it up to me, I have a full year to reminisce and remember how I was neglected and forgotten when I was 24.